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I don’t post to Facebook as I think it’s a little too fake with all those anon friends that you kept on adding in the early times and people only tries to show as much as their good side. I don’t post to my Instagram about my emotions and what I’m going through or what I’ve gone through. This will somehow be a place for me to pour out my emotions and feelings sometimes. Although I think no one out there is reading my Blog anyway.

I only recently found out that I’m actually going through major depression. It was for 3 months. No one let me know about it. I thought it was just sadness and anxiety disorder. I had not many friends whom I can share with my problems here in KK as I have a simple life. Most of my friends are in Kuching. I’m not so close with my families as we all live apart from each other and the saddest thing that contributed to my really bad depression was, I’m living all alone. No one checks up regularly on me. It felt like no one cared. I think the worst thing for someone who’s going through depression is the feeling of being alone and no one cares…

But thankfully i do have few friends and colleague and ex-colleagues that was there few times to help, although not every single time. I’m sure they do have their own lives right.

I had to goto mamak (Anak Mami) outside and another restaurant, Aramaiti in Dongongon side just to take dinner or sometimes Lunch as I can’t eat alone at home anymore. I don’t enjoy the things that I used to enjoy like watching movies at home (I think that’s how I got myself so fat in the first place before, by watching and munching away my life)

I lost appetite and lost 13KG in 3 weeks time in the beginning and 20KG in 2 months time. It’s a new record I guess. I’m now gone into crossfit to keep fit and surprisingly my weight has been hovering there and probably I gained bit health back and Muscle mass

I’m struggling to get back my life and move my focus onto my exercise for now. I feel I need to get these 2 things first and then I can move on to others. Slowly doing it now

I won’t be updating for sometime or even for months and years as I need to get myself better. It may take a long time

If you do have a friend who’s going through same symptom and depressions, please do take a look around and best way is to offer your time and listen to them and most of all, do contact them time to time to let them know they’re not alone and someone still cares out there.

You may also find articles online to understand more about helping a friend going through depression and try help them too

Angel Wings around you and me ~


Sick Seasons..

Been sick for more than a week now and finally some really progress yesterday and today to my flu and cough. Then last few days noticed one of the intern in the office also got sick. I offered my meds cos it seems she’s also having hard time with the central aircond blowing and causing her running nose to get even worse.

The meds i suggested her is ‘Chloramine’. It’s a term used only in Malaysia and Taiwan it seems. It contains anti-histamine so it helps with allergy and flu symptom like. Told her that she can get it from local pharmacy as well. Only gave her whatever I had left in my work bag. Hopefully she will be okay later as I can hear her starting to cough already

So those out there who is having flu like symptom allergy, you can try this meds out too 🙂

Recuperating Mode

I got really sick yesterday. Left office earlier trying to get some rest but couldn’t. I will be off probably couple of days. Self recovery mode long overdued anyway. Since I’m staying all alone, just have to toughen it out. Just have to take care yourself during these times.. My blog is where I can truly put out my feelings and emotions forward.

Last week in KL outstation was a busy one. I had to tackle both offices but being where there’s no Internet in the other office plus another Brunei office looking for you trying to connect there, you had to get the non technical staff to help out and needed to spell and plan for them. And then the next day where there was a long power cut. They had to call me up to ask which switchbox needed to check.. On Wednesday, I had to go back Office Condo to handle Unifi that comes in to fix no connection problem for the condo. I mean these things, Admin staff can do one. Where are the boundaries???!! One day perhaps i’ll have a greener pasture and find my Serenity Place within this world. I plan and I pray for it. But there’s just so much so I can do on my own sometimes.

Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I’ll be back in few days time perhaps. But maybe won’t be posting much anyway unless something interesting comes up 🙂

Angel Wings around you all

Those who go fishing this week. BEWARE!

Just got this in my fishing whatsapp group. Those who has already planned their trip, please reconsider cos this is no joke thing
I think this is the first time I’m seeing wave 4.2 Meter high. The Usual bad ones are only up to 3M or 3.5Meter

Wind knots is around 28, that’s around 51KM/hour speed in the sea
The Chart below is from an Offshore Rig report

The below is a warning from Metocean. at the Thursday and Friday time it may go up to Category 3 or 4 Thunderstorm. Take note

Unreleased Song By Christina Grimmie

It’s hard to see someone so special leave this world. Despite what happened, Christina has left good impacts in this world and people. My respects goes out to her and her family.

I’ve been following Christina even when before she joined the Voice competition. Have always subscribed to her and listen to her songs. Recently it’s just hard to see her new Music Video of unreleased version but here’s one that we should watch. It’s her message to us out there.

Cheers to all. We missed you much Christina

Yay! Donated

So Happy I’m able to donate my blood. I went to QE yesterday to donate. I won’t be able to join the one organized by Kasi this coming Friday 21st June as I’ll be outstation. So I decided to go direct to the source to donate. It will end up at the same place anyway

Feeling Blessed and Thankful because I was able to donate and It’s just right after my 40th Birthday as well 🙂

Chicken Soup for the Soul

I’m actually a Chicken Soup for the Soul Lover. I’ve had had few titles over the years. One of which from the article, I’ve always used when I thank or bless someone before. Over the years, I’ve forgotten to use it

So I’m gonna say this to my readers here..

Angel Wings around you always~ 😀


Blood Donation Campaign by KASI-21st June 2019

There will be a Blood Donation Drive by KASI. Their office situated right below where I work at in Wisma Perindustrian. Got an email from them probably from previous drive that I joined before. So I’m sharing it here in case someone may read this and decide to join in the drive. The Digital flyer can be found below.

A long time ago I did an article on who can donate, age limit, restrictions and what you can do to ease your nerve during donation but I lost my whole blog that time so I can’t get it back. I myself is afraid of needles poking into my veins. So what I did was to look away bit of time before the needle start poking into my arms hahaha. True confession 😀

My first blood donation was when I was 20 years old. The company that I worked with that time (Taiyo) had organised a Blood Donation drive. With some encouragement from my colleagues, I was able to go through my first ever donation. My booklet is still white in Color (given by Sarawak General Hospital) and still am using till now. Although when I came to Kota Kinabalu, I saw that their booklet is Red in color. Not too sure about other states in Malaysia. Do drop me a comment if you know what color they may be ya

I do have a partner in crime here that do the donations with me. His story is one of those that keeps me doing the donations, although nowadays usually I was rejected from donating. Hopefully with the better health by losing some weight, I will be able to donate again. It’s one of my passion to help those in need. Donating your blood has no price tag nor can it be valued at. I donate because someone else’s life may depend on it, knowing that gives me all the rewards i’ll ever need

Back to my partner in crime. He was not a blood donor before. One day he got into a really bad bike accident while drunk (till today he still has scars on his arms and one side of his eyesight is still affected). He lost a lot of blood and went through some operations. He said he was really thankful for the blood donor that donated to him that time. Ever since then, he promised himself to donate whenever he had the chance :). As for me, I’ve been in a bike accident before but nothing of that serious, although i did became ‘Superman’ on the road dragging myself around 10Meter on the newly paved road with new tar. I had had my skin cut off that time and it feels like my skin was being peeled off!! Anyway, I donate because I wanted to and I glad I started it. But aiya, I won’t be able to join this time as I’ll be outstation that whole week. Just wish it were on another day. So I’ll just post here as well as my FB page so the rest can find out on it

I first found out that I had R2R2 type blood more than 10 years ago. I guess it was around year 2007 or 2008. My first donation started in Year 2000 and those few years they did not check that I was R2R2 while I was still in Kuching. It was only when I went to donate in KK Queen Elizabeth that they told me I am R2R2 and wrote it on my donator book. I was confused and worry cos first time hearing that R2R2. Then I found out that my blood is suitable for patient with Thalassemia. The next time I actually received call from QE to go donate. There was a request for it and they needed it urgently. I think it was around 2008 or 2009 that time. When I was there to donate, I asked the question if there are any other R2R2 donor out there in KK. If i can recall correctly, the Nurse actually mentioned there are only 2 or 3 in KK at that time (it’s either one of those 2 numbers) and the other had already went in to donate or something. I think it was for a child as well that time…

So those of you out there who may be thinking to do something today, perhaps donating your blood to someone who needs may be just what you need. The hospital blood bank is always opened, so you can even just stroll in and donate. Bring someone or a friend if this is your first time and you feel nervous. All the best and once again thanks for reading this long blog and hope it encourages you as well to start donating your blood to save lives out there. God blesses your Kind Soul